


A Messy Way To Go About It

by vedinamel



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, First Dates, High School, Humanstuck, Humor, Obliviously in love, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 00:13:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10651008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vedinamel/pseuds/vedinamel
Summary: After acquiring proof that Vriska was behind a prank, Rose uses it to rope Vriska into spending time with her. The one-eyed troublemaker would probably enjoy it, if only she had any clue of Rose's real intentions.





	A Messy Way To Go About It

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is part of my contribution to Vrisrose week on Tumblr, today's theme is First Date. Inspired by Tumblr user Toxixpumpkin's "Good Kid/Troublemaker AUs" fic prompts post. Had to work through a writer's block, but I managed.

 It was the perfect plan, the ultimate (figurative) middle finger. So what that Tavros and Terezi chickened out like a couple of wet blankets? She could do it all by herself. It felt right this way, just her against the world. Add one more person and it might start looking like a fair fight. Everybody with half a brain knew that the cameras at the parking lot were rubbish; there was no actual vigilance there. Vriska just needed to sneak out during class, make sure that no one was looking and get to action.

 Her newest delinquent masterpiece had caused some damage to her savings. Buying all those new spray cans wasn’t cheap, but it was necessary, since vandalizing Principal English’s car with her signature color would have been a dead giveaway, and Terezi was the only one who had more than one color. Though she worked alone, she managed to finish it in time to seamlessly merge herself with the mass of students at the corridors after the next bell.

 Watching Principal English’s fit of rage after classes were over made all that work worth it. As a known troublemaker, she believed she could show some satisfaction. After all, her hatred for the Principal was well known, but she took care not to smile too widely, or to overplay her surprise at seeing the Principal’s car covered in graffiti. She didn’t need to make herself more of a suspect than her reputation already made her.

  She did not think of being so tactfully careful the next day. Her inflated ego making it impossible for her to not add some extra smugness to the usual smirk she adorned her lips with. Thinking she got away with something always had that effect on her. Gossipers had already considered her the most obvious of the usual suspects by simply looking at her face.

 Vriska was soaring, her success on a well-executed vandalism practically made her emanate overconfidence. That’s why her head began to spin when she was suddenly pulled into an empty classroom as she walked through the hallway. On her left, right on her blindside. What a low blow.

 After recovering from having her victory lap so rudely interrupted, she turned her attention on the fool who dared sneak up on Vriska Serket herself on her blindside. The revelation was devoid of surprise: Rose Lalonde, faux intellectual and bullshiter extraordinaire. Of course, that was totally a Lalonde move!

 “Good morning, Vriska,” Rose clasped her hands together, displaying a smile that, against all logic, managed to seem both warm and welcoming, and yet cold and detached. “Fancy bumping into you here.”

  Vriska rolled her one good eye, classical Lalonde.

 “I don’t like people sneaking up on me like that. You got 8 seconds to explain yourself before I make you regret it.”

 To illustrate her point, Vriska raised a fist. Rose took a few steps forward and lowered the troublemaker’s fist with a soft palmed hand.

 “Excuse my manners; I presumed it would be fitting to start by playing dirty. How could I get you to take me seriously otherwise? I got to show I’m thought while dealing with a hardcore gal such as you, right?”

  Yeah, Vriska was pretty hardcore, eh?  Good for Lalonde to see that…no, no, no! Vriska was not going to fall for her mind games this time. She grabbed the straight “A” bullshiter by the collar and pulled her closer. Vriska could smell her perfume from this close, she always smelled so nice, in Vriska’s opinion. She had taken quite a liking for that particular perfume.

 “What do you want, blondie?”

 “Wow, so strong!” her tone of voice made it hard to tell if she was being serious or sarcastic. “I think I already got what I was looking for.”

 Rose took a step closer, running the tips of her fingers along Vriska’s arm. With the tips of their noses now almost touching, Vriska took a step back to reclaim some of her personal space, letting go of Rose’s shirt.

 “All I want is the delight of your company.”

 Vriska’s mind went from 0 to 200 miles per hour in a second, trying to work out what Lalonde’s angle was. Did she want Vriska to do something for her? Get something for her? Take the blame for her? Or…should her words be taken at face value and Rose really just wanted to spend time with her? Naaaaaaaah. Someone like Lalonde would never want to spend time with the likes of Vriska.

 “A tempting offer, but I’m afraid I might have to decline,” Vriska tried to walk away, but Rose kept sidestepping to block her way. “Nothing personal, I just think you might cramp my style. I think Fussyfangs is more your speed, nerd miles per hour.”

 “Kanaya is indeed good company, but I was really looking forward to spending time with you.”

 Vriska was starting to lose her patience. She shoved Rose out of the way and made her way to the door. Staying alone with Rose always made her feel wird.

 “It would be quite difficult to spend time with you if you got expelled.”

 Vriska’s hand froze midway to the door knob. She slowly turned her head to Lalonde as she fiddled with her phone. Rose turned the screen of her device to Vriska, showing a video of the one-eyed troublemaker vandalizing the Principal’s car.

 “It would be a shame if the Principal were to check his e-mail and find that this incriminating video of you had been sent to him. It would be quite damaging to your school experience.”

 Vriska sighed. Her first thought was to just take the phone, but she knew Rose was smarter than that; she definitely had backup copies of the video in a cloud or something. Vriska approached her, making an effort to maintain a threatening posture and facial expression, but also some effort to not make it seem like she was putting effort into it.

 “Alright Lalonde, give it to me straight, what do you want?”

 Rose laughed. What? Was it something Vriska said?

 This was embarrassing, the worst thing to have ever happened to her. Yes, even worse than getting a month of detention for pushing Tavros down the stairs. Being expelled would have been more merciful.

 Vriska lowered her head, trying not to make eye contact with anybody as Rose lead her to her locker, holding her hand like she was Vriska’s mom dragging her around the mall when she was a kid. It was no less embarrassing now than it was back then. Heck, her face was burning and blushing out of shame.

 Rose kept blabbering about her ideas for a novel as she gave Vriska books to carry. Damn, she liked to talk. Her Derse accent making some words sound funny, but strangely pleasant to hear. From the back of her mind the most embarrassing thought echoed through her mind: “ _I’d like to listen to her accent more.”_ The silly though making her blush even more out of embarrassment.

 People kept staring at them. Vriska didn’t need to be able to read minds to know what they were thinking as she and Rose walked down the hallway holding hands. Yeah, they were totally thinking that Vriska softened up and was Rose’s little helper now, carrying her books and everything. Gosh, the shame!

 After the final bell, Vriska was eager to break free. This day had definitely done more than a dent to her reputation as a though troublemaker and she needed to think of ways to remedy that, but Rose kept distracting her as always. That was what Rose always did, doing something or other to call her attention. Damn, even just being in the same classroom as her was distracting, how did she do that?

 “Well, not that it hasn’t been fun…wait, it wasn’t,” she shook her hand a bit, but Lalonde maintained a good grip. How someone with such soft hands could keep a hold on something? “Anyway, I have some important business to tend to.”

 “Oh, we are not done yet. Why are you in such a hurry?”

 “Come on, holding hands with you all day, carrying your stuff…everybody watching…it’s embarrassing.”

 “Oh, you shouldn’t be embarrassed by it, Vriska.” Rose attempted to comfort her

 “It’s just…I have a reputation, okay?”

 Rose stopped and looked intensity at Vriska with those distracting lavender colored eyes.

 “You shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are, no matter what other people think of you.”

 “Hey, I’m proud of who I am, you hear?!”

 “Then why are you saying you’re ashamed?”

 Vriska’s mind was unable to connect the dots. What was she talking about? Vriska wasn’t ashamed of being a troublemaker; she was ashamed of people thinking she had gone soft and befriended a nerd like Lalonde. Wait, is she calling Vriska a softie nerd?

 “Hey!” Vriska protested.

 “Anyway, I was hoping we could spend time together outside the school.”

 Whaaaaaaaat? Wasn’t it enough to humiliate her in front of the school? What other forms of torture Rose had in store? She could feel her heart beating faster and faster, but why? Was she scared of Lalonde? There was no need to be scared; she just had to keep an eye on her, just like she always did.

 “This new place opened up and I really wanted to go there with you,” Rose explained her master plan. Wait, what?

 “You’re inviting me…to dinner?” Vriska expressed her skepticism.

 “No, silly, you are inviting me to diner, and you’re paying.”

 Oh, there it was! Her plan all along, free food! Vriska had to admit, that was pretty cunning of her. Blackmail others to get a free meal, brilliant! She should try that herself some time, and Rose will be her first victim. Yes, she’s get Rose to take her to some real fancy place, they’ll have dinner together again and Lalonde will pay for it all! Ha, devious!

 The restaurant wasn’t quite what Vriska imagined. It didn’t seem fancy, so maybe it wouldn’t be too expensive, but she hadn’t taken a look at the menu yet. After Rose decided on a table for them, a waitress appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Damn Vriska’s blind side. She was a pudgy woman with very long black hair, hearing aid in her ears.

 “Welcome to the Grrrimluck,” she greeted them as she handed them the menu, rolling her “r” in the same manner as someone imitating a cat’s purr. Way to start a dinner. “I’m Meulin, your waitrrress this afternoon and…” she looked at Rose, then at Vriska, and the biggest smile appeared in her lips. Vriska didn’t know people could smile so widely.  “Excuse me, but arrre you two… _together_?”

 “Well…” Rose started.

 “Of course we are!” Vriska interrupted. Of course they are together; they are at the same table! If she had let Rose respond she would drag it into a verbose sarcastic joke, and Vriska didn’t have that sort of patience when food was involved, no matter how cute Rose’s accent was.

 Wait…cute? Did she think Rose’s accent was _cute_?

 Rose stared at Vriska with wide eyes, seemingly in shock, and the waitress’ smile seemed to grow wider, if that was even possible.

 “I knew it,” the waitress declared with pride. “I have a sixth sense for this kind of thing. I knew it the moment you two walked in.”

 “What an observant person you are,” Vriska snarked as she opened up the menu, only for Meulin to take it off her hands.

 “I’ll be rrright back,” she assured them as she took off with the menus.

 Vriska looked back at Rose, still with that shocked expression on her face. A rare expression for her, as Vriska well knew. Rose’s cheeks slowly turned red as her lips turned into a faint smile. Ha! She was embarrassed because Vriska was rude to the waitress, but impressed by her though attitude, no doubt. Vriska rested both of her hands behind her head, leaned back and smirked at Lalonde.

 “Here we go,” Meulin handed them a new menu. She no longer rolled her “r” and she seemed a little bit sad, maybe someone called her out on it? “What are you two lucky girls having?”

 The pictures in the menu had dishes that were either cut in a heart shape or arranged in that shape.  Vriska knew right away what this meant: Meulin was an unrepentant womanchild. This must be a kids menu for little girls. Vriska’s mom used to do stuff like that for her when she was a kid.

 “We’ll have the number eight, please,” Rose decided.

 “I’m not done choosing yet! Sheesh, may I remind you that I’m paying all by myself?”

 “What do you suggest then?”

 “…Number eight.”

 “Awww, it’s so cute to see that two people were on the same page all along after an argument. Just like my fanfics,” Meulin shared her opinion with joy.

 “Hey, anime cat girl, our order!” Vriska rudely reminded her.

 “So…” Rose started after Meulin brought their order. “Tell me a bit about yourself.”

 “Want me to start with my childhood?” Vriska snarked at her, she knew Rose had aspirations to be a psychologist one day. Well, she sure got the bullshiting part down, so she was half way there already.

“Good idea,” Rose rebutted, going along with Vriska’s sarcasm. “Tell me about your mom.”

 “She’s a stuck up blonde who talks too much, and she is eating a heart-shaped lasagna”

 “You’re talking about me?” Rose asked, before taking a sip from her drink.

 “Of course, you’re my mommy now, aren’t you?”

  Rose spit her drink after hearing those words. Yeah, Vriska hadn’t forgotten about Rose dragging her around by the hand like her mom used to do.

 “Oookay…” Rose regained her composure. “You move fast. In hindsight, I should have expected that. It’s always all or nothing with you, right?”

 “It’s just how I roll,” Vriska ate some more of the lasagna and smirked at Rose. “If you’re planning to spend more time with me, you’re in for quite a ride.”

 “I better fasten my seatbelt then.” Rose reached for her glass for another sip.

 “No belt can keep you safe with me, blondie. To be honest, part of me is still pretty eager to show you what I can do with my fist.”

 Rose spit her drink again. Yeah, Vriska was still a bit pissed about that blackmail business. Threatening to punch Rose seemed like the way to go to remind her with who she was messing with, although she found it a bit hard to imagine herself punching Rose. As much as she hated to admit it, Rose had a very pretty face, pretty enough for her to not want to punch her. Heck, the very idea of someone harming Rose in any way made her angry, even more so than the blackmail.

 Though it wasn’t as expensive as she feared, paying for dinner after buying all those new spray cans had made Vriska totally broke. The price of being a troublemaker, she supposed.

 Even after they left the restaurant, Rose insisted in holding Vriska’s hand. She took a look around and saw no one from their school, so why was Rose doing that? And why was Vriska blushing out of shame? And why was her heart beating so fast again? It wasn’t like she was scared of what Rose might do with her next like before.

 Rose’s hand felt pretty soft, it felt good to hold hands with her. She hadn’t grown tired of her Derse accent yet, even though she kept expecting it to grow annoying at some point. Spending time with Rose wasn’t so bad. She just didn’t want people at school to think she befriended a nerd who likes to hold hands.

 “So…this is where I live,” Rose pointed out as she turned to a house. Had they walked that much already? Well, Rose was an endless source of distraction, so it is no wonder time flew by so quickly.

 “Okay, seems nice,” Vriska responded. Something didn’t seem right; she didn’t want to part ways with Rose just yet, but why?

 Wait…their conversation from earlier as they were leaving the school…Rose said that Vriska shouldn’t be ashamed of who she was…did that mean that Vriska actually was…a closeted nerd?! Well, she always wanted to try playing a tabletop RPG. Was Rose into that? Maybe if she just asked…

 “Rose, I don’t know how to ask this…but…”

 “Yes, go on,” Rose incentivized her in the psychologist way.

 “Would you like to…roleplay sometime?”

 “Say what?”

 “You know, like, be my master in a dungeon?” That was the correct term, right? Master in a dungeon? No, it was less wordy…Dungeon Master, that’s the term.

 “Vriska…this is moving way too fast…” Rose was blushing again. What? Is there some preparation people have to do to play RPG? “Let’s slow down a bit, okay?”

 “Alright, but I just want to try it sooner than later.”

 “Vriska, we are young, there is plenty of time for us to…explore certain stuff…eventually,” Rose seemed pretty exasperated.

 “Look, the truth is that I’ve wanted to try it out for a long time now, but I had to keep appearances. You said I shouldn’t be ashamed of who I am!”

 “It’s okay to be comfortable with oneself, but that doesn’t mean you have to jump to extremes right off the bat!”

 “It doesn’t have to be extreme, just some casual stuff. I never tried it before, after all.”

 “Vriska, we went out on one date, can’t you leave that stuff for further down the road, when  we are a little older?”

 “Wait, what?” Vriska asked.

 “What?” Rose repeated.

 “We were on a date?” Vriska inquired, and then suddenly the pieces fell into place. “Fuck, we were on a date!”

 “What did you think all that was?”

 “I thought you were using me to get a free meal! Who asks someone out by blackmailing them?”

 “It was Terezi’s suggestion!” Rose snapped. “She said I needed to play though or you wouldn’t be interested in going out, then she told me you were going to vandalize Principal English’s car and came up with the blackmail plan!”

 “Terezi…” she did chicken out first and convinced Tavros to do the same. She would never chicken out off a prank, especially if it involved painting something with various colors!

 She trolled them both into going out on a date! Vriska could even imagine her smug face right now. Wait…she couldn’t, her smug face was right there. Damn her blind side!

 “Boy, you too are sloooow,” Terezi exited Rose’s house from the front door, her hands holding a small container filled with cookies and her cane. “I was getting tired of you two being gay for each other all the time without anyone making a move. So I thought to myself: “ _Terezi, why don’t you just shove them at each other?”_ And then I said _“Yeah! Sick plan, me. But wait, what about we make them look dumb while doing it?_ ” and I said _“Hell yeah, let’s make them look dumb.”_

“Why would you want to shove me at Lalonde?” Vriska inquired. “It’s not like I have a cru…” the final piece fell into place.

 “You two really deserve each other.” Terezi localized the steps of the house’s porch with her cane and began to walk away, taking a bite out of a cookie.

 “Oh, Rosie! You came back from your date!” Ms. Lalonde greeted her from the door.

 “Thanks again for the cookies, Ms. Lalonde!” Terezi shouted as she walked away.

 “You’re welcome, Tezi! Come back any time, you’re a doll!” Ms.Lalonde turned her attention back to her daughter. “Oh, is that the Vriskies I heard so much about? Come in, come in! I made a bunch of cookies and…”

 Vriska and Rose looked at each other, embarrassed, amused, and happy.

 “Do you want to go out on a do-over date tomorrow?” Vriska asked.

 “Oh no, you don’t, no backsies. That was out first date and nobody is going to take that away from me,” Rose took Vriska’s hand and guided her through the front door.

 “Come on, I didn’t even know it was a date! If you tell it to people they’ll think I’m dumb!”

 “You are both dumb-dumbs, Vriskies.” Ms. Lalonde responded, while handing her a plate of cookies.


End file.
